BOOKS
Where I Live At – Aging Out of Foster Care
As part of the on-going K Books series, this time around I’m sharing my experiences working with foster care youths in their transition to independent living. It’s a time for making life changing decisions-- If I don’t attend some form of education, my extended foster care support gets cut off. Do I get my HSE or attend community college? Maybe I can learn a trade. What will my support system look like without a case worker to help me manage my life? What if I can’t find housing? What am I gonna do about money? If I’m the most marginalized within the marginalized, what’s gonna happen to me? What types of resources should I know about? Should I try reuniting with my parents? And what’s my role in my own aftercare plan?
Those of us in the field of caring for youths in transition are having to keep up with new policies addressing the needs of unwanted teenagers and young adults, and those who couch surf until someone makes a way. Youth homelessness is increasing. Newly aged out youths are competing with unhoused adults for the same affordable housing units in public housing. Supervised independent living programs (SIL) look great on paper but in reality, a small percentage of youths get to receive SILs, mainly due to red tape and landlords who are in the business of real estate to make a profit, not help create affordable housing for youths aged out of foster care. It’s not personal. But it is, to me. Because behind those long lists of names waiting to be called are young faces I wish you could meet. They may each come from some form of trauma, but their sense of determination became the motivation I needed to put this book project together. They know what they’re facing and yet they rise above the many obstacles already stacked against them. Some made wrong turns and never came back. But that’s also part of the work of the youth advocate. We save who and how many we can.
Consider this. A typical 18yrld in America still needs their parent(s) or extended family for financial and emotional support. All parents know that it generally takes their children until they’re in their 30s before finally learning how to live independently. Imagine telling your 22yrld Look, you’re on your own now. Here’s some bus fare. Good luck! Or what if you couldn’t handle your teenager’s cognitive challenges and physical outbursts, and 21 was the cut off day? Maybe your 10yrld was already showing early signs of being transgender and you decided to put him up for adoption, so somebody else could worry about what happens when they age out. It used to be a lot simpler. Pregnant girls and unruly boys. But we’ve learned that a pregnant 15yrld can be autistic and be at the top of her class, and a rude boy from a refugee camp can have a boyfriend. The ideal youth group home and residential treatment center keeps changing, as we make efforts to further modernize our foster care system and the aging out process. This book is part of that forward movement where we are now creating intervention curriculum that is reality-based, culturally relevant and without judgment.
Where I Live At – Aging Out of Foster Care
AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
“I love the way you write, the calm, descriptive sentences, which as they are being read are filled with so much depth, empathy, compassion, that the once simple progression of words opens up into an entire world of thought and comprehension of the underside of what is barely noticeable to most of us. Each word, so precisely opening a door into another realm of understanding.”
Excerpt:
“Devin was in a good place. He passed his HSE, secured a security guard job and, as if his angels didn’t think that was enough of a great day for him, found his missing younger brother through social media. The two had been sent to various foster homes during their crawling years, after their mother’s crack habit turned her into an unrecognizable and unmanageable creature. They had different fathers, both of whom went missing after their births, with no extended family members willing or able to provide a temporary home for them. By the time they reached middle school age, they’d learn to become streetwise enough to survive in and out of temporary homes, usually from those looking to get money from the foster care system as a tradeoff. Soon as Devin saw their true intentions, he and his brother bounced; and this went on until child protective services found them wandering the streets alone.”